Question and Answer

So how are things going? I've been praying for you...

Praying you live free, wisely, alive, condemnation-free, shrewdly,
perseverant, and joyful.

Jamie



Been a rough few weeks. Condemning. Living under bondage. This week the clouds broke and I could pray...I could breathe...I could worship. I'm going to write a poem about it and send it to you. The premise is this:

When elephants are being trained in the circus, they often have a painful chain (sometimes like barbwire) tied to their legs. As they get older they get used to this pain, to this bondage, the feeling of being trapped. It becomes what they are used to. Once they get older, the owners of the elephants only have to tie a thin rope around the elephant's leg but the elephant feels tied up, feels he's in bondage...when all he has to do is take two steps forward and he's free. He'll break his "bondage" and literally be free!

That's how I felt today in church.

Your words. Letting my family know. Letting the BBC circle that I still keep know. The words of comfort from Fwank and Lewk...not to mention Chappy and Show. Talking to J-$ and Egbert. God used all of you to embrace me this past week. I could literally feel God hugging me...through the body of Christ. Man, I feel alive. I don't feel strong. I don't feel like I'm ready to preach from the pulpit. But ideas to write are coming. My soul feels forgiven. My soul IS forgiven. I feel alive.

I was reading in Isaiah 53 today. We've ALL gone astray. We've ALL turned away. I was in bondage because I felt like I was the only one who has ever screwed up. I felt guilty and dirty and unworthy because I thought I was the only one who was unworthy to come to God's house. We're all freakin' unworthy. I may be first in line...but at least I know there is a line. I'm not alone. And God has forgiven us. The forgiveness is paid. My "iniquities" were on that cross...and Isaiah said it was God's will that those sins would be paid for through Christ.

I'm forgiven. I haven't felt that way in some time. Feels good to sleep soundly. Feels even better to breath.

I was able to praise God in church today with a clean conscience.

Free,

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